Saturday, January 29, 2011


it's a holiday again! yeay!!!!


to KL-Kedah-Kuantan.



oh! gosh. yes, it's zaman kejatuhan. bleak and ugly.

pull yourself together eika.

i need a new pillar. i do.
a new chapter.
a new beginning.

is there any reset button that i can press?


if ever there's a regret in myself, there's this one thing. i just wish i did my degree somewhere in Aussie or UK. you know why? so, i would have a place to run there, far away from people i know. because being alone right now, and looking at strangers are the only things i need. plus tgok mat salleh hensem. wow! urm...

maybe i should learn Arabic. pak arab pon hensem jugak. wahaahaa.


God, grant me forgiveness for all the sin I've done and bring me back to the path to Jannah. Amin.


it means swallow, don't speak and put a fake smile.

gosh.. banyak giler pahala...


i think one of the hardest things to do is to LISTEN.'s not easy.

even i fail to listen sometimes.

So please, listen to her. Listen.

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release

Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't ListenAlign Center
Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own

You should have listened, there is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your own all 'cause you won't

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't



What's really funny about heart it, when it is hurt, mend it QUICK. or its mechanisms will be going to be very difficult to understand.

Friday, January 21, 2011


Some guys (credit to mr. nazmi for suggesting this-some) are not good with promises. and some girls take words so seriously as promise. When it is not fulfilled, thunder roars and rain showers the earth. Pathetic!

It is indeed a busy month. i can count how many times i am able to sleep at my normal hour which is eleven. it had been nights that i slept around 8 and woke up at 5.30 in the morning. i ended up being among the first to school.

it was stressful but this week, i learn a new thing. taking the responsibility to take care of my younger sis until next week surely gives me a new idea on how to be responsible. i am even eager to go back home because i want to make sure she's safe. to do so means, i have to cut my time for movies, hanging out with my colleague and taking my own sweet time to do window shopping and other works. i just want to fulfill her needs and to make sure she's safe. i can't sit well if i tak msg and call her. gosh! i am so not ready for this. hopefully mummy will be back early next week. ahaks!

i miss my family. Now i know that nobody will treat you better than your family does. nobody can accept you the way you are like how your family accept you. i cry happy tears each time i make jokes around, with my sisters (sebenarnya gelak menggila sampai keluar air mata, especially ngan angah) and nobody will laugh as much as they did. and having a very nice and pleasant brother in law like Abg Fai is a bless. i look up to him on how he can handle problems well, show me how to think positive and he always knows what to do. i can always rely on him. he never takes things for granted, and takes care of us well. he always knows how to make life interesting and enjoy our time together by doing lots of fun activities. he makes us smile. he respects my parents and makes people want to be better. he teaches me a lot. he loves my sister and compromises with her weakness. surely ibu and ayah bring him up good (abg fai's parents). they pon people yang i like to be surrounded with. i hope to find a husband like him and even better! maybe ade la jugak time when i am irritated with him but that is so damn jarang! hehe. ok, nie sudah lebeyh.

My Backbone
My Heroes
Cute kan?
Lovely ibu and ayah. ibu's advice mmg sgt berguna.

Err...gambar nie takde kaitan dlm entry nie..

Urm.. i want to go home....

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Angin KusKus

Ade la sesetengah orang di suatu tempat nie kan, mmg aku hangin betol kalau bawak kereta. diorg cakap bwk keta kat kl macam teruk kan.. tapi, kat satu tempat nie lagi hina. Org kl bwk keta mcm org giler tapi pandy la sikit kan. tapi ini tempat juara mak bermulut kesat. mmg mak angin nOks! signal tak pasang, pastu main masuk. suka berebut parking pastu mmg courtesy kat atas jalan raya mmg hampeh. siap kne warning dengan board kat tepi jalan, yang berbunyi ala perli depan2. tapi tak makan saman gak. mmg hati batu. mak geram noks! kalau bab buang sampah kat atas jalan mmg takyah cakap, mak boleh bagi trofi! kt tempat lain tak yah la mak nak citer. mak cerita kat satu tempat nie je. mak mmg hangin! sebelum aku hangin lagi, aku nak nasihatkan diri aku dan rakan2. tolong bg signal, jgn buang sampah dari kenderaan anda, tolong bersabar dan angkat tangan utk org yg bagi laluan, have courtesy!
itu aja pesal mak. Renung-renungkan..dan selamat beramal.

Friday, January 14, 2011


I spent my whole evening yesterday from 5 pm until 6.30 am this morning, sleeping. Damn! I’ve wasted my time doing nothing even sebenarnya aku ade banyak kerja kot! I was exhausted, worn out and tired from woks and flu. I’m extremely pounded!

I woke up in the middle of the night, peeping at the phone screen, hoping someone would call or text me. Gosh! No battery. But I’m too tired to even move.

I woke up at 6.30, took my bath and felt fresh! Tak pernah rase sesegar ini! A good rest indeed.

I went to a shop that serves the best mee kari kat Kuantan nie. Best woo… pemilik Chinese but I believe it’s halal. With Muslim workers and the excessive use of Bahasa Melayu. They mmg jaga pelanggan melayu mereka. Waking up early dgn Ana, we went there. Letaknya betul2 kat teluk cempedak. Nampak antik n lama gtu!After makan, we went strolling along the beach. Bestnye! I felt like tgh bercuti. Seriously! I glanced at Hyatt Resort kat sblah pantai. A nice place to spend our holiday. Teringat pergi dgn my best buddy there. Urm..i miss those days.

After penat2, I balik umah wat kerja n semua. Skrg di umah ma n abah. I miss them. And I miss u too.

Sunday, January 9, 2011


Don't believe in people easily.

Especially when they said they have been loving you for 15 years.... without even knowing you.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

Breakfast yang terbantut

A spoon of mee goreng was about to enter my mouth..

Sis H: Once you get married, you would realise that love no longer exist. (looking straight into my eyes)
Me: (What should i do?? What reaction should i give?? Still hanging on the spoon halfway to my mouth) Huh? Urm..
Sis H: The only reason why you both still live together is because you cant live without each other.
Me: Owh... That's not love? (try to play along)
Sis H: Maybe. But, there are no more tgs that you used to do before. the feeling is kind of deteriorates each day. yet, still, we claimed to love. but never show as much as we did before. all those become strange and unneeded. we just learn how to survive je. Life becomes more to carrying out the tasks right than enjoying it with the passion and love we had before. Sad isn't it? Yet, who cares. Live must go on.
Me: That's boring. No passion at all?
Sis H: Depend.
Me: What do you mean depend?
Sis H: You'll figured out later.
Me: Huh? i don't want to! Sis!

Well, she dragged me into this matter all of a sudden and now she left me wonder. Apa kaitan this issue with me? What are you trying to do? Scared me of? I'm rattling-scared.

Teringat aku wat ana terbantut menyuap nasi goreng udang petai. gambar nie priceless. pelik aku. muka gni pon die still nampak cun. apekah!!!

Monday, January 3, 2011


Seronoknye first day sekolah!! Pack barang mcm 10 tahun lepas, on the first day of school. Hopefully my spirit will get higher along the way and tak sampai sini je. First day of school dah start mengajar and lots of works are given. Dah headache taw!

Yet, apart all these, ade this one thing yg tak best langsung. A news saying i might be appointed as Warden! Gosh! I nak kene cari husband secepat mungkin and lari!!! But i love this school. Urmm... but i don't want to be a warden!

Anyway, i want to wish happy birthday to my dear lovely, cun, nice, supportive girl... fyeera!

you know i love you!

On new year 2010. Mmg penat! Thx for cheering up my life (^_^)

A girl cry never means that she lose. It's because that's her strength. And for you to know, it is because her tough heart has been touched or hurt badly. Be human. Stop hurting. Respect her tears.

and tonight i swallow my pride. and tonight i learn the true fact of life. i can never be me.