bErtukaR bukU

"sediakah aku untuk menjadi hambanya yang lebih sempurna?
sempurna?lebih elok dari hanya sehelai kain buruk mungkin."

kini smakin hampir saatnya. Awal muHram nie harap-harap bawa perubahan besar dalam hidup. yuP..i guess sO. lets review and revise ape yg kite wat sepanjg tahun nie. yang perlu di pohon maaf, sila2kan.. yg jadi pengajaran, jgn di ulang, yg boleh di baiki, kemaskinikan..hutang2, selesaikan. harap hari2 yg mendatang lebih baek dari sebelumnya. rukun2 masihkah terjaga? banyak yg perlu buat nie. semua have to be ready k! kite buat yg terbaik. repair ourselves. owh! rase tak layak mengajak sedangkan diri masih tak berganjak. moga buku pahala lebih berat harapnya! moga boleh temui tahun depan lagi. moga kita dirahmatinya. moga tidak kan dipalingkan dari ehsan dan redhanya. moga kita masih dan sampai mati jadi hambanya. jgn lupa doa akhir dan awal tahun. semua sedia? insyaAllah..

DENGAN NAMA ALLAH YG MAHA PEMURAH LAGI MAHA MENGASIHANI

Mangat eika mangat!

hiasan meja sudah sedia..(mangat kan aku) mana posting result nie! 5 januari? cepatlah!!! sukenye perasaan ini. mengujakan~~~

EikA the tEstEr

although sedeyh masih ade and staf2 di kepala start to lari sana sini meng'handle' certain things, i think i am ok. this morning terasa very rindu at kuih muih di kelantan. i did go back there a few days before Aidiladha because my uncle passed away. My aidiladha, like each year were here in Cheras la. So, because it was only me and my two younger sister, my parent seems to give extra attention and brought us jalan-jalan ronda KB. "dop malu mengaku org Kelate tp dop tau mano tepak2 di KB.." said my daD. durr...mane pnah mbesar kt cni (monologue)

One thing i always wonder is the belief that Kelantanese=makanan manis2 . where got maaa? my PakSu like salty food and our family not too fond of manis sgt. but to my suprise, after being persuated by my tummy to go to the food section @ Pasar Siti kHadijah..... bapok manis kuih kat kelate nih!! it's super delicious and super sweet!and not to forget, kuehnye pelik2!

Atas, dari kanan: kueh Kaswi, kueh Taik itiK, kueh Bunga tanjuNg(egg yolk), kueh Bunga Tanjung (egg white) and Jala Emas.

the sweetest of all was the Jala Emas! it does looks like kueh jala but more thick and wet. my goSh! i could feel the rush of insuline as soon as it reach my tongue. my favorate was kueh taik itik (u can see it is like it...yekkk, please change the name la!). medium sweetness but yet still. the bunga tanjung mmg yummy tp kalu makan banyak rase too much la. they come in two colour which indicates the ingredient. lighter for the use of egg white while yellowish for the use of egg yolk. (thx mum=tourist guide)

(on right) this was a jaw dropping to me. jering rebus dengan kelapa! on my amusement they have fans there ok.

(on left) buah mangga(woh pauh or woh pele mane satu tah) is normal. but with sugar,salt and asam..err..yummy?

(right) these went into my tummy. except for that jala emas. just a pinch je. Manis bangat dowh!
(left) seems like the ordinary kuih bijan yang ade kacang merah kat dalam tue but believe me, this one was way better. crunchy soft shell, sweet fresh redbeans. marvellous!

and this right one here is tepong gomak. i'm sure you know this. my parent's favourites. and left would be the ubi keling. (it was musim ubi, there were lots of different ubi which names i cant remember).

well, i am jakun with all these foods. i did like being there tasting all those foods mcm nyet masuk pasar. ngEhehehe.

Kelate~ my Kampung~myHomeSweetHome!~

Semuanya akan Baek2 ajA..

urm..today is definitely not a good day for me. not just today. every time i realize how hard it is to maintain things in life to be at it's proper place, doing it always makes me sick. especially in handling your heart.. n your hormones. this ambivalent feeling do squeamish me. i feel angry and now i want to shout!!! i am experiencing uncertainty or indecisiveness concerning something. Yes i am. now i start to feel nauseous..daMn, i hate this!

pisau siat siat, hati dilapah tak dengar teriak, nak menjerit nama tak ingat, menangis lagu mnjerit bisu

Sometimes terasa nak tanya to those i view their life as 'perfect' what's your problem in life? so i would know and be grateful that my life isnt that bad after all. i mean, i do have everything moving ok. i do get things that i want and still persuing it. i am happy with what i have and everything seems almost at reach. only this one thing i cant get it right. I guess Allah Maha Adil, He gives you everything but there will be something yang 'tak sempurna' so that you will always remember Him. urm...

i hate this act of being OK when i am actually being hurt. More, i have to be a good, polite and rational girl towards this so-called perkara kecik. contoh paling mudah mcm nie la.. 'owh, takpe la diorg kacau barang atas meja tue, boleh kemas, bukannya diorg amk bwk balik.. perkara kecik je'. N u tak boleh nak marah2 coz itu perkara yg tak patut di marahkan and u r not yang suke marah2 pon. Yes. But when people keep on doing it just because they think you are ok with it, plus they need it, even u once or twice voice out your 'please dont' opinion as you cant take it anymore (for such a long time of holding back) they still seems not to bother! you are damn mad and still people say 'loh, takkan itu pon nak marah, biarkan aje' Argh.. i hate it when i cant hate! macam la nak sangat sakit hati but, it's hurt la... durrrrr!!

but this is not barang atas meja! this is more than that. it's suppost to be the 'thing' i like the most in life where trust and honesty live beneath it. the one i would love to share but not for u to touch or take it as yours!!

ok..i have to stop or else i'll be losing my head. pardon me for this. dont bother my anger, dont even wonder, it's just a tiny stain i need to get rid off. Lord, i'll accept your punishment if this is for my past mistakes. but do help me. i need a lot of help for this.urm..

Hadapi denGan senYuman =/

Me n 23!

i always love birthday. who doesn't right?i will have all the people i love celebrating with me even just a small party pon will do la. but nowadays, friends start to get all tight out with works and responsibilities. urm..trying to understand tapi sometimes wish if ever leyh jadi cam dulu2, lepak tak kire waktu. tgh malam pon kitorg bedal. haha.. best! tp takpe. i still went out with them a few days later. g karoke sampai lebam lae. hehe. thx for those who wished me. luv ya all dude!

mari kawan2 saya kongsi cerita saya. (hari ini im a bit sengal) one thing i never forget about this year punye birthday ialah pada pagi 1st december tue. a delivery for me from my friend, mr. razif (hikhik) i was truly shock and speechless. he's in miri n sending me a suprise yg mane mase kuar rumah ambik dari org delivery tue, saya masih belum mandi dan memakai baju tdo. Gosh! mane la taw nk kne amik present. tp sangatla sweet..thx!

my wish? banyak sih.. but i got myself the best present ever..anna sui miniature set perfumes. da lame mengimpikan miniature set neh kuar, at last!thx to angah, ibu fai n thx to mr. razif for the rest of it. ok, for all of it! look, girls are not materialistic k. we are happy with what we have. it is just the matter of melobi kami for all our attitude being a good girl. nnt bile da bergelar isteri n ibu, pihak lelaki must melobi kami lagi for being a good wife and a good mother. i mean, we are doing all the hard work k guys.. jangan banyak songeh. love your wife and mother. n your girlfriend..or girlfriends. hikhik.

dengan ini diisytiharkan saya sangat gembira menyambut birthday saya. terima kasih banyak2 yea semua. i hope all of you akan mendoakan kesejahteraan saya jua. i hope i'll always be bless by Allah swt, sihat tanpa penyakit, bersemangat jadi chegu nnt, get to fulfill all my wishes yg bertambun tue, happy slalu, di sayangi n di hargai slalu, and macam2 yang baek lagi la. tapi yang paling penting i hope people yang i ever ada buat mistakes bole maafkan me so kite bole hidup aman dunia akhirat. InsyaAllah...thank you Allah for giving me all my rocking-cute friends(yes, u who read this) and a bitter-sweet family yg i truly cant live without. im 23 and going strong bebeyh!! yeahahaaa...