4.6.11

i began to accept the fact that i am not a beautiful person since i was 4 when one of my cousins said,

"Dulu ko kecik mmg semua suka sbb ko comel. tapi skrg dah besar, ko tak cantik. aku taknak kawan ngan ko".

and later, more harsh words were ejected to me by others; gemuk, mata sepet, pendek, makcik tua and so on. most of the time, i would just smile, laugh and swallow it as if it doesn't hurt me. tho sometimes it does.

what more to be compared to my beautiful sisters who are completely different from me.

Yes, i'm no beauty queen, i'm not worth it, i'm not perfect. i accept that....and still learning to be thankful for everything that i have.

When Mr. Razif, greeted me for the first time 10 years ago, i thought he was one of those who was going to bring my spirit down and judge me. Yet, he proved me wrong.

Thank you dear Razif, for bringing out the best in me and giving me all the happiness i have ever wished for.

and i am sorry for not being a perfect person.

Hopefully, Allah swt will guide us and bless our relationship. Hopefully, our love will grow stronger and we would love and be loved forever. InsyaAllah.

Here some picx from our engagement;

i was extremely berdebar and terketar2 k! It was stressing and a relief at the same time.

Gambar kontroversi atas katil. yeap, maybe we were a bit like mcm nikah dah. tapi en. photographer yg surohhhh!

Thanks to dear friends and family for the big help. gambar takde lg so, dpt yg ade kt fb jer.

Thanks to those who prayed for us and keep on praying for us.

To Be or Not To Be

Alhamdulillah, tadi dah habis Kursus Induksi KISSM. Giler dah lama tak amk exam, tuptup kne study hape smua, naik giler dibuatnye. Skrg baru la eika egat mcm mane rasenye jadi student. Funny right? it's just a few years back but things are easily forgotten. Hurm..

i'm looking forward for this mid year school holiday. Hopefully, the event goes smoothly. InsyaAllah. Pray that everything is going to be okay, yea...

HuhHuh...i miss you dear kakal!!!

Tawakkal

Siapa yang tidak melaluinya, tidak akan memahami maksudnya, Orang-orang yang pernah hidup dan bertawakkal, dia akan mengetahui tentang keajaiban bertawakkal, Bila hati insan bulat kepada Ya Rabb..
" Ya Allah, aku serahkan urusan ini kepadamu Ya Allah"

"Cukuplah bagi kami Allah, Dialah sebaik-baik tempat diserahkan urusan" Surah Ali-Imran ayat 173

Holiday!!!

it's a holiday again! yeay!!!!


Lalalalalala..


to KL-Kedah-Kuantan.

KKKKKKK!

Reset

oh! gosh. yes, it's zaman kejatuhan. bleak and ugly.

pull yourself together eika.

i need a new pillar. i do.
a new chapter.
a new beginning.

is there any reset button that i can press?

goshhhhhh...

if ever there's a regret in myself, there's this one thing. i just wish i did my degree somewhere in Aussie or UK. you know why? so, i would have a place to run there, far away from people i know. because being alone right now, and looking at strangers are the only things i need. plus tgok mat salleh hensem. wow! urm...

maybe i should learn Arabic. pak arab pon hensem jugak. wahaahaa.

urmm...

God, grant me forgiveness for all the sin I've done and bring me back to the path to Jannah. Amin.

Sabar

it means swallow, don't speak and put a fake smile.

gosh.. banyak giler pahala...

Listen

i think one of the hardest things to do is to LISTEN.

no..it's not easy.

even i fail to listen sometimes.

So please, listen to her. Listen.

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release

Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't Listen
Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own

You should have listened, there is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't

Listen...