Something new

Gosh!
i should write more often. This is literally really a web already.

A new year is about to come. i am expecting something new. i like new things. don't you?
Yet, changes sometimes scare me. And i bet not everybody accepts it well. i just hope that things go on good.

i was at home the other day, enjoying my free time after 3 weeks battling with papers and so on when it suddenly rained. The smell of the rain always reminds me of something. You know that your brain interprets what you smell and sometimes it triggers something. Like how certain perfumes remind me of my old best buddy, the smell of detergent reminds me of a special friend of mine, the smell of grass reminds me of my sweet time at MRSM and the smell of old blanket reminds me of my best friend, Moh. The wet soil evaporated the heat and i kind of reminiscing my good old days at Kampung. i remembered how small and naive i was at that time. and it felt good to have that memory.

Now i am all grown up. i just wish i didn't make so much mistakes. Yet, i am full of flaws. i wish to have found someone who can tolerate how imperfect i am. And give me the time and every opportunity to be better. I know that's your wish too. So, let's wish that next year, life is going to be more fabulous! Yihaaaaa~~~~

This is my so called life.

Weak

Those who dwell on their emotion are weak.

Those who walk alone are weak.

Those who feel weak are weak.

Those who seem pathetic stay weak.

Those who hunger for love are truly weak.

Those who can’t feel happy are weaker than the weak.

So be it... I am weak.

I miss, but I can’t show it.

I want, but I can’t have it.

I need, but I can’t get it.

I love, but I can’t love it.

Yet, those whose emotions are stranger to them are the weakest of all.

Admit it. You sometimes feel weak.

in Front of Muhammad SAW

Following the link on Fb, i discovered these videos on Youtube.

What would you say? What would you do? What can you give?

...in the sOul

An understanding mind. A brave heart. A listening ear. A positive thought. A strong clasp. A pair of soothing eyes. A bunch of convincing words. A positive sign. A bucket-full-of-sunshine smile. A warm hug. A strong will.

A compassionate lover. A loyal companion. A knight in shining armour.

You bring smile and peace in the soul.

Thank you. You are the greatest friend ever.

Left or Right brained? (tak de keje)

This is my result for personality test that I took recently.

Introverted (I) 68% Extraverted (E) 32%
Sensing (S) 64% Intuitive (N) 36%
Feeling (F) 55% Thinking (T) 45%
Judging (J) 59% Perceiving (P) 41%

I – Introversion preferred to Extraversion: ISFJs tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances (betol!), and they expend energy in social situations

S – Sensing preferred to iNtuition: ISFJs tend to be more concrete than abstract. They focus their attention on the details rather than the big picture, and on immediate realities rather than future possibilities. (ye ke?)

F – Feeling preferred to Thinking: ISFJs tend to value personal considerations above objective criteria. When making decisions, they often give more weight to social implications than to logic (hehe.. boleh tahan)

J – Judgment preferred to Perception: ISFJs tend to plan their activities and make decisions early (betol!).They derive a sense of control through predictability.

I also had figured out I am quite balance in the left and right brain function (normally most people pon kot). Yet, I was told to be more into the right brain. Considering the personality test that I took, yup I guess it’s quite true. I rase most female right brained la, if you know what I mean. Lalala~~~ Try la.

Uste, get married soon okay!

OMG! My Uste is planning to get married! I just figured out a few hours ago before he departed to France. Well, I kind of ‘feel’ it prior being told by my mum but I never thought he really meant it. I egat it was a joke sbb masa tue we were wrestling (it’s our routine);

“Uste, go and get a life. Don’t you have anything to do? Mcm mane nak kawen gni!” I said as he pinned me down.
“Macam mane nak kawen, ko tak kawen lagi?” said Uste sambil memicit-micit lemak ku.
“Geli la sengal!”… and it ended there ( not the fight, the conversation).

I smiled as my mum told me about his wish. My mum said that most of his friends are back in Malaysia to get engaged with their love one and he actually was planning to do the same. Yippi! I am excited. My lil bro yg penah maen masak2 ngan I dah besar! Oh, I am proud of him. But then... suddenly my mum said this one heart-breaking thing.

Thinking about me, he cancelled his plan.

“Takkan la Uste nak langkah bendul”

WTH? I was devastated. If only I knew about this, I would smack him down earlier. The last thing I want to be is a sister who menghalang kebahagiaan my own lil brother. Cewah..

It’s so nice of him thinking about me, but Uste.. I don’t mind dear. I just want him to know I am okay with the langkah bendul or ape semua tue. I tak kisah. I want to see him happy. If nak tunggu eika kawen, eika rase mmg jauh lagi. So, BMW pon dah cukup… kidding!

Hurm.., it’s not that I am memilih or do not want to get married. I want! But God has a better plan for me. And I just think I am not ready for this, considering there are lots of things about me I need to change.. The right guy pon tak jumpa lagi. Fidelity is a big issue for me. Oh, I am pathetic! Anyway, sambung master pon tak lagi. Angan2 I neh besar taw… lagipon, God knows best. I believe in Him. If he thinks it’s time, it will be the right time.

I hope everything is going to be fine. And I hope my lil brother will be a nice husband. I am sure whoever is going to be his wife will be the luckiest girl on earth! Err…except that she needs to tolerate our wrestling routine. (^_*)

siGn

it's quiet hard to decide what's best for you when you cant even predict. not a single sign and stuff to help you deal with it. and the only thing that you can do is wait. and hope that Allah swt has mercy on you. so He will start pouring blessing and signs and you would be okay. how would you know what's best for you? life is about taking risk but how can you possibly calculate when you have no formulas? nope, you cant. the only logic reason for the crap i am taking about now is that i am totally confused.

human behavior is confusing. Look at me for instance. At times i cant even understand me. human rate of change fluctuate like the stock market. i wish there can be a machine that can give me graph on this. i like graph~~~

so tell me, when you love somebody, should it be a smooth ride or a bumpy ride?
is the bumpy ride means you should change your driver or it is going to be an exiting journey to a happily ever after ending?

you cant tell right? so do i..

i just hope i'm doing the right thing. Coz i wont let this brings me down. nope.. you cant. i just need some siGns, and lEt Allah swt does the rest..Lalala~~~~

Gosh... this is tough!